One of Us
by Knight of Luna
Summary: The likely story of me and my friend on XBOX live. When I bring home Elliot Salem and Tyson Rios unexpectedly, I play the Army of Two game and get us into a whole lotta trouble. Rated M for language, lemons, rape and nudity.
1. Chapter 1: Elliot and Tyse?

**Chapter 1: Elliot and 'Tyse'...?**

_As if Life weren't hella stupid already…_

I sat on the bench, my baseball hat covering my lavender eyes, made possible by color contacts. I watched people pass by with their dogs, some of them stopping to say hello. I was tired, bored and possibly mentally insane, but that didn't stop me from trying to be like every other teenager out there.

Lately, I had gotten into a good game, Army of Two. My favorite character of choice was Elliot Salem. He was pretty hot in his own way. I just loved the way he acted!  
I was trying to cosplay as my original character, Cesil Samantha Diskenth. I had dyed my hair red recently and now was wearing a cut-up hoodie (cut the sleeves and put a slit in the sides and took off the front pockets), a pair of blue jeans and a pair of slip-on sneakers that I love to death.  
I was listening to music in my CD player. Lately I had taken to listening to Luka Megurine singing Poker Face by Lady Gaga. I was pretty happy, anyways. Some of the Army of Two players I had met thought I was Elliot Salem! I smiled and waved a little, but didn't speak. I wasn't in the mood to talk.

"Whoa, buddy! What's up?" I looked up at the owner of the voice. I blinked a couple times. If it wasn't Elliot, I wanted someone to shoot me then and tell me I'm in heaven.  
"Nothing. Move along. I'm not interested in what you're selling." I waved my right hand, showing I wasn't interested at all.  
"You're pretty lonely?"  
"No."  
"Wow, you're pretty moody for a chick."  
I got pretty mad. "Look, you. I don't know who you think you are, but you're making my day even more worse than it was before! I'm going to fuck you up if you talk to me one more time!" I said.  
"Okay, just calm down!" He began to back away. The fucking pussy…  
"CALM DOWN?" Tears began to stream down my cheeks. "Look, you asshole! Life was more complicated without you having to come around and ruin it!"  
"Hey, Elliot, did you- Oh, shit, what the fuck did you do now?" I looked over at the newcomer.  
"Tyson, get him out of my face!" I said, my voice high due to my emotional state. "I'm sick and tired of this!" I knew it now, this wasn't two cosplayers. They were actually Elliot and Tyson from Army of two.  
"Whoa, hold on. How do you know Tyse's name?"  
"I know you two quite well." I said, beginning to walk away.  
When Elliot grabbed my arm, I screamed out in pain, yanked away and held my aching arm. Of course I had to go and blow all my money on tattoos and skin spray so they wouldn't show.  
"I… Uh… got a bruise! Umm… Yeah, that's it!" I said. I was seriously taking into consideration to get my brain checked and see if I was really dead. Because this couldn't be real, could it?

Oh, it was real, all right. They followed me home!  
"Umm… I'm just going to play a video game…." I said quietly, not daring to take off my hat.  
"What? You…"  
"I'm just a gamer girl." I grabbed the XBOX wireless controller and headset. I was going into a private Co-Op game with a friend online. So I turned on the XBOX and noticed that I had to recover my gamerta- wait, it wasn't mine. I hit the XBOX menu button and signed into my new Gamertag, which I fashioned after my favorite character.  
"Why don't you two… go make yourselves at home or something. I've gotta beat this level. It's been bugging me forever."  
I sighed and entered the Public Co-Op game. I was instantly matched up with my friend.  
"Hey, why do you always get Salem?" He whined as we began to play.  
"We match personalities, obviously… Well, just a tiny bit, anyways."  
"Yeah. Blow all your money on stuff we don't need."  
"You're WELCOME!" I shot his character to prove my point. "See? I can be vicious too!"  
"You're fucking dead, man!"  
"I'd like to see you try to kill me!" I hid behind something to prove my point. He ran out of ammo, fast. That made me laugh.  
"You see? That's why I keep lots of guns handy! So I can save your sorry ass."  
"Bite me, Salem. Bite me."  
"I'll headbutt you instead, you asinine moron!" I smirked. This conversation was fun. I activated the GPS and headed towards the mission objective.  
"DAMN IT, SALEM! LOOK OUT!" A missile whizzed past my character to hit the guy trying to shoot me.  
"Eh? Oh, I can't see with this GPS on. Hang on… Okay, there, it's off."  
"We sound like a real partnership.." My friend laughed, and so did I.  
"Yup. Although I'd prefer if you called me by my first name."  
"Elliot it is, then." My partner laughed a little. "I can't believe you're such a fan of this game you actually call yourself Salem."  
"I know, but seriously, we need to get this done. I'm absolutely broke!"  
"That's what you get for buying all the useless crap in the mid-mission shopping screen."  
I saw Elliot's head peek around the corner questioningly. "Don't eat up all the food or else I'll get blamed!" I said to him. "And I'm talking abou- Oh, shit, I'm hit! Damn it to hell, where are you?" I looked at the screen. Apparently, I can't take a hit.  
"I'm coming, I'm coming!" My friend healed my character and we headed off towards our mission point.  
"Agghh… Why do we have to work with this guy? He's insane, crazy…. A fucking maniac!" I said.  
"I know, but Dalton ordered it!"  
"I hate this guy! He called us 'fuck-os'! The nerve! I wanna kill him!"  
"We'll kill him in Miami."  
"The fuck? We have to wait THAT long? Damn it, I wanna shoot him now!"  
"Calm down, Elliot."  
"Aww, shut the fuck up, Tyse. It's not like you're any better!"  
"Yeah, yeah. Whatever."  
A personality change was sort of in order as both Elliot and Tyson came into the room.  
"Umm…. So…. I…"  
"What's the matter, Elliot? You stopped.."  
"Umm… run away, as fast as you can. The guy's gonna…. Murder us." I said lamely. I was having a bit of a background problem.  
"What's the problem?"  
"One E and one T over at my house. You know what that means."  
"Shit! The characters we're playing! Aww, shit."  
"Now I can't even play Phantasy Star Universe." I said.  
"You got that right, unless you play as Cesil."  
"Yup… Aww, really? I'm down again."  
"Yeah, yeah… I'm coming."  
It worked like this for a few minutes, until I ended up shooting my partner on accident.  
…and this totally sucked… We let the game control us, so we ended up calling each other our character's names.  
"WHAT THE FUCK, ELLIOT? YOU MIND TELLING ME WHAT THE FUCK YOU DID THAT FOR?"  
"DON'T SCREAM IN MY EAR, TYSE! IT WAS A FUCKING ACCIDENT! GIVE ME A FUCKING BREAK!"  
"Bitch.."  
"Fucking bastard…"  
"I hate you…"  
"Yeah, well, sticks and stones."  
We calmed down, and then I slapped my hands over my mouth.  
"Aww, shit… I didn't just say that, did I?" I whispered into the mic.  
"Shit… you did…"  
And that's when I knew my life was completely over.


	2. Chapter 2: The Personality Inside

**Chapter 2: The Personality inside.**

_Shit… Oh, shit…_

I had no idea how much I had given away… I quickly ate a handful of cheezits and chomped, so I didn't have to hear them.

"Elliot, you know I can hear you eating, right?"

"Mup.." I said with my mouth full. What a bad habit.

"Just swallow what you're chewing so we can get on with this mission."

I swallowed. "Umm… Yup, let's go… Umm… where were we again?"

"Damn it, Elliot. We're in 2001 and we're in Iraq. Figure it out."

"Oh, right." After a few minutes, I ended up having to drag my partner to a hiding place and healing him. "If you're going to be such a dork, then I'll let you die out there."

"It's not my fault you're broke."

"Oh, har-de-har-har… What a joke."

"We rhymed."

"So? What the fuck do I care?"

I shook my head, my eyes closed. I was dealing with a moron.

I felt the headset get tugged off my head. I opened my eyes to see Elliot and Tyson staring at it and then me.

"What? I'm talking to a friend on XBOX live. We're trying to do a mission here, thanks."

We reached the mid-mission shopping screen. As usual, I bought practically everything in the Secondary Weapons store and was back down to $0

"Haha, you're broke again."

"What? I can't help it! It's a curse!" I laughed and took the headset back from Elliot and put it back on. "I can't help the fact that I looooovvvee to shop for guns."

"You sound like a murderer."

"We're almost done murdering people, anyways." I said jokingly.

"Not until we lock Dalton in the safe."

"Yeah, I forgot about that." I sighed. "How much longer?"

"Five minutes."

"What?"

"I have to go in five minutes."

"You're shittin' me. Don't leave me here to fend for myself!"

"Elliot, I'll be back in two minutes after I leave, so just wait there and don't go and kill yourself."

"Feh… Yeah, like that's ever happened." I said as my friend left to go eat dinner. I ran ahead, shooting things and opening up a pathway. Then I hid behind something.

"I'm seriously reconsidering letting you be Salem… Maybe if You're Rios for a day…"

"Shut… Up." I said.

"Hey, what are we, chop liver? The fuck, lady?" Elliot asked.

"I'm doing something here!" I said.

Elliot and I got into a heated argument, and I ended up blowing up a missile and making us start back at the checkpoint.

"More mid-mission shopping?"

"Yeah! Let's buy things!"

Elliot looked at Tyson. "She has a split personality…." He said.

"You're telling me."


End file.
